Celebrating Multicultural Weddings in Johor Bahru

Malaysia, a vibrant and diverse nation, is home to various ethnic groups that contribute to its rich cultural tapestry. One of the most beautiful aspects of Malaysia's multicultural society is the celebration of weddings that bring together couples from different ethnic backgrounds. These intercultural unions not only signify love and commitment but also serve as a testament to Malaysia's spirit of unity and acceptance. In this article, we will explore the beauty and significance of multicultural weddings in Malaysia and how they contribute to the country's harmonious coexistence.

Embracing Cultural Diversity:

1. Malaysia is a melting pot of different cultures, including Malay, Chinese, Indian, and various indigenous groups. Multicultural weddings provide an opportunity for couples to honor and blend their diverse backgrounds, traditions, and customs. From vibrant Indian weddings with their colorful sarees and intricate henna designs to elegant Chinese tea ceremonies symbolizing respect and gratitude, each culture brings its unique flair to the celebration. These weddings not only bridge cultural gaps but also foster understanding, appreciation, and respect among different communities.

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   Fusion of Traditions: Multicultural weddings in Malaysia often involve a fusion of traditions, creating a beautiful blend of rituals, attire, and cuisine. For instance, a bride from a Chinese-Malay union might wear a traditional cheongsam during the tea ceremony, followed by a stunning Malay wedding dress for the solemnization ceremony. The couple may exchange rings and vows according to their respective customs, incorporating elements from both cultures. Such unions not only create memorable moments but also showcase the couple's willingness to embrace and honor each other's traditions.

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   Symbol of Unity: Multicultural weddings serve as powerful symbols of unity and inclusivity in Malaysia. These unions demonstrate that love transcends cultural boundaries and can flourish amidst diversity. By publicly celebrating their union, multicultural couples inspire others to embrace intercultural relationships, fostering a more accepting society. They showcase that harmonious coexistence is possible and that cultural differences should be celebrated rather than a source of division.

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   Bridging Communities: Multicultural weddings bring families and communities from different backgrounds together. Through shared celebrations, people have the opportunity to interact, exchange cultural experiences, and develop lasting bonds. These weddings often involve a diverse guest list, with attendees from various ethnicities and religions. The coming together of different communities promotes dialogue, understanding, and social integration, contributing to a stronger sense of unity within Malaysian society.

5. Preserving Heritage: Multicultural weddings play a vital role in preserving and promoting Malaysia's rich cultural heritage. They serve as a reminder of the traditions, customs, and values passed down through generations. As couples merge their backgrounds, they contribute to the preservation of unique rituals and practices. By incorporating traditional elements into modern ceremonies, multicultural weddings ensure that cultural heritage continues to thrive, even in a changing world.

The Malay wedding customs, known as "adat resam kahwin Melayu," hold great significance and are strongly upheld by the majority of Malay individuals, whether in rural or urban areas. Like any cultural tradition, it involves substantial expenses, which some may find burdensome. Nonetheless, these customs prioritize the well-being and harmony of life.

The Malay wedding customs require a significant amount of funds to fulfill all the ceremonial stages. It consists of eight steps that can be categorized into three stages:

First Stage:

1. Merisik or Menengok: This is the initial step, where the groom's family visits the bride's family to express their interest in marrying their daughter.
2. Meminang or Bertunang: Once the bride's family approves, the groom's family formally proposes to the bride and both families agree to the union. This stage is marked by an engagement ceremony.
3. Menghantar Belanja dan Akad: In this stage, the groom's family presents gifts or "belanja" to the bride's family, symbolizing their sincerity and commitment to the marriage. The couple also goes through the solemnization ceremony or "akad nikah," where they officially become husband and wife.

Second Stage:

1. Berandam and Berasah Gigi: Prior to the wedding day, the bride undergoes a beautification process known as "berandam" where her female relatives and friends apply henna on her hands and feet. Another custom, "berasah gigi," involves the bride and groom sharpening their teeth, symbolizing their readiness to face the challenges of married life.

Third Stage:

1. Bersanding: The highlight of the Malay wedding, the bride and groom are seated on a beautifully decorated dais and receive blessings from family members and guests. This stage is marked by grand celebrations and traditional performances.
2. Mandi Limau: After the wedding ceremony, the couple participates in a ceremonial bath with lime leaves, symbolizing purification and blessings for their married life.
3. Sambut-Menyambut: This stage involves welcoming the bride into the groom's home, where she is embraced by her new family.

The Malay wedding customs hold deep cultural and symbolic meanings. They signify the union of two families, the continuation of traditions, and the celebration of love. While these customs may require significant financial investments, they are seen as a testament to the importance of family ties and the value placed on creating a harmonious and prosperous life together.

In modern times, adaptations and variations may occur in accordance with individual preferences and financial capabilities. However, the essence of the Malay wedding customs remains intact—a celebration of unity, love, and the preservation of cultural heritage.

Chinese marriage became a custom between 402 - 221 BC. Before modern times, women were not allowed to choose a partner for marriage. Instead, the bride's family chooses her future husband. Marriages are chosen based on the need for reproduction and the good name of the family, as well as the needs of the father and her husband.

Although China has a long history and many different geographical regions, there are six common alms ceremonies which are generally known as the three characters and the six etiquettes.

Pinangan: When the parents of a son decide on a future daughter-in-law, they will look for a fortune teller whose job is to reduce the conflict of interest and embarrassment when discussing the possibility of marriage between two families who are usually not close or do not know each other at all.

Birthday Comparison: If the future daughter-in-law's family does not object to the proposal, the fortuneteller will compare the couple's birthdays. If the couple is compatible according to Chinese astrology, they will proceed to the next step.

Bride price (Engagement Gift): The son's family will arrange a fortune teller to deliver the bride price (engagement gift, including the engagement letter) to the bride's family.

Presentation of Wedding Gifts: Wedding gifts vary, depending on local customs and family wealth. Food and delicacies are common gifts.

Wedding Day Selection: The Chinese Calendar will be consulted to determine the auspicious day.

Wedding Ceremony: The final ceremony is the actual wedding ceremony that makes the bride and groom husband and wife, and consists of several elaborate parts:

Wedding Procession: The wedding procession from the bride's house moves to the groom's house. The procession consists of a bride's palanquin, a traditional band, a troupe of the bride's entourage (if any), as well as the bride's wedding gift in the form of money.

Reception of the Bride: The wedding procession stops in front of the door of the groom's house. There are certain ceremonies that are observed to welcome the bride and the members of the procession into the groom's house. The ceremonies vary from place to place.

Real Wedding Ceremony: Similar to reciting wedding vows in the West, the couple will pay their respects to Heaven and Earth, the groom's parents, and each other.

Wedding Feast: In Chinese society, the wedding feast is known as xǐ-jǐu which literally means "wine of joy", and is sometimes much more important than the wedding itself. There are also ceremonies such as pouring wine or tea for parents, spouses, and guests. 

Indian Marriage

The Indian community is the third largest ethnic group in Malaysia and also one of the races that has contributed towards the formation of a pluralistic society in our country. Like other societies, the Indian society is also rich in its cultural characteristics and still maintains that culture until now. The customs practiced by the Indian community have many similarities with the culture of the Malay community. This is clearly seen in the aspects of birth and marriage. Like other societies, the Indian society consists of various tribes, therefore the following information only displays the customs of the Indian society in general.

 Spying :Several aspects need to be paid attention to such as ethnic, sub-ethnic, caste and religious factors. In addition, other factors such as economic status and social status include aspects such as age, education level, type of job, ethics and morals, appearance and family background are also taken into account.

Visit to the Bride's House :This custom is done after the spying custom is done. The groom-to-be will visit the bride-to-be to see for himself the appearance and stature of his future wife. This custom is known as pen paarttal or in Malay it is called seeing a future wife. At that time, the male representatives had to come in an odd number even though the number was large.

Handicrafts such as coconuts, betel nuts, areca nuts, sandalwood, fruits, sounds and kumkum powder will be brought. These items are brought as a sign of their arrival for good intentions and to strengthen family ties. The woman will receive the delivery if she agrees. Otherwise, they only serve people who come as guests and cannot take the items.

Promise Or Niccayam :Done after getting the consent of both parties. The male representative will come to the female's house in an odd number, bringing several items such as coconuts, betel nuts, flowers, fruits, sandalwood and kumkum to be given to the female representative. consent to marry the bride-to-be. Then the marriage will be announced to the public. As a sign of bond, both brides and grooms will exchange betel nuts called taambuulan marrutal.

Parisam:The custom of parisam is divided into two, namely ordinary parisam or udan parisam

Normal Parisam is the giving of gifts that is carried out earlier than the wedding day, while Udan Parisa is the giving of gifts that is done on the same day in the morning before the wedding takes place. In Indian society, parisam is like an engagement ceremony. The custom of giving parisam will be held on a day that has been agreed upon by both parties. The groom will prepare several types of delivery in odd numbers. This delivery has to be prepared by married women only and they are called cumanggali. Parisam will be taken to the bride's house led by the groom-to-be wearing traditional Indian clothing. At the same time traditional musical instruments like naatasawaram and meelam are played. The women will prepare a pot known as puurana kumbum which is placed in the living room. An oil lamp called as kuttu vilakku is placed next to the puurana kumbum as a sign of god's grace.

To start the custom, the prayer ceremony will be done first. Then the bride's father will bring a parisam containing sari and give it to his son. At the same time the bride writes something using turmeric to ask for blessings from the gods. After that, the men and other guests can see the puurana kumbu more closely. On that day, the bride-to-be wears a sari parisam and is led out by another woman into the living room. At this time several relatives may place a wreath on the bride-to-be. This is known as orrai-maalai or single garland. The attendant will give invitation cards to both parties of the bride and groom. Three important ceremonies are visiting the bride's house (pen paartal), the custom of betrothal (niccayam) and giving gifts.

Invitation card:Invitation cards play an important role in Indian weddings. This invitation card is based on the Hindu almanac. If there is a mistake, it means that the marriage cannot be carried out smoothly. The printed invitation card is smeared with liquid turmeric powder as a symbol of harmony. A few pieces of invitation cards in an odd number will be brought together to the temple to be brought to pray (arccanai). Cards are placed on a tray with betel nuts, ringgit money, coconuts, betel nuts and so on as a symbol of wealth. This ceremony is called paanam paaku. Then the tray will be taken to the bride's house to be given to the groom and vice versa. At the same time betel nut will be given as a sign of official wedding invitation.

 Preparation of Thaali (Tjrumaanggalyam) :It is a sacred symbol of marriage that is placed around the necks of both brides and grooms. On the thaali is tied a white thread smeared with turmeric. There are different types of thaali used by the Indian community such as lingath thaali, pottut thaali, tennantthaali and so on. This is because there are various tribes among Indian society. The custom of preparing thaali is done seven or nine days before the wedding day. The men will bring gold, sandalwood, kumkum, betel nut, coconut and payment for the thaali maker. This is to ensure that the thaali maker knows the right day to make the thaali.

Three days before the wedding, the thaali will be taken and placed at the place of prayer at the behest of the thaali maker. The bride and groom are prohibited from bidding for the services of the thaali maker. After that a prayer ceremony is performed and this is called as thaalippadaiyal. In the ceremony sweet porridge and sweet rice are prepared including dhoti and sari for the bride and groom. In general, thaali is not required to be made of gold. This is because thaali can still be made from turmeric which is said to be safer and not stolen by people.

 Mukuurtta Kaal :Done five days before the wedding day. This custom of mukuurtta kaal is held on an auspicious day according to the premonitions of Indian society. To carry out the custom, a young and straight tree will be cut down to be used as mukurtta kaal. The trunk of the tree measures two or three meters and has a trunk circumference of between 20 and 30 centimeters. The wedding ceremony started with the niccayam ceremony (bond of promise) by giving gifts such as clothes and others. Invitation cards smeared with turmeric water are brought to the temple in odd numbers as an official sign of the wedding invite.

Engagement And Wedding Ceremony:Plant a straight tree and rub it with turmeric powder three days before the wedding day. The groom is not allowed to go out for three days before the wedding day. The wedding ceremony is performed by Pedanda by praying for the bride and groom to live happily ever after. The harbinger will sow nine types of grain after the ceremony of donning the ring. The groom will drape a thaali made of thread smeared with turmeric and the end tied with a piece of turmeric to the bride up to chest level. Both the bride and groom pay respect to their parents or in-laws by exchanging trays full of fruit and wiping holy dust on the bride's forehead.

After the Wedding Ceremony:There are several customs that are carried out by the Indian community after a wedding. Among the customs is that the bride is required to go to the groom's house as a sign of respect for her husband after they are confirmed as a married couple. Then the groom is required to go to the bride's house for three days. At that time the parents-in-law will honor both the bride and groom by holding a feast.

On the third day after the wedding, the Tabernacle will usually be torn down. Before the tent is torn down, a chicken will be slaughtered to mark the end of the wedding ceremony. But that practice is no longer done nowadays. Only a light feast was given to those who demolished the wedding tent. The wedding feast was held after the wedding ceremony. If the wedding is performed in a temple, vegetables will be served to the guests. If the feast is held in the hall, food other than vegetables is served, except for meat because meat is forbidden in Hinduism.

The feast will also be attended by relatives and friends. There are several customs that are carried out by the Indian community after a wedding. Among the customs is that the bride is required to go to the groom's house as a sign of respect for her husband after they are confirmed as a married couple. Then the groom is required to go to the bride's house for three days.

At that time the parents-in-law will honor both the bride and groom by holding a feast. On the third day after the wedding, the Tabernacle will usually be torn down. Before the tent is torn down, a chicken will be slaughtered to mark the end of the wedding ceremony. But that practice is no longer done nowadays. Only a light feast was given to those who demolished the wedding tent. A wedding feast is held after the wedding ceremony. If the wedding is performed in a temple, vegetables will be served to the guests. If the feast is held in the hall, food other than vegetables is served, except for meat because meat is forbidden in Hinduism. The feast will also be attended by relatives and friends.